Hurzeler turns us into Arsenal fans in 15 self-satisfied words as Arteta takes the high road

In one uppity line, 15 self-satisfied words, Fabian Hurzeler managed to turn the masses in favour of Mikel Arteta and a brand of football at Arsenal that we’re now of a mind to call effective rather than the scourge of all football.

Bukayo Saka’s early deflected goal was enough to see Arsenal claim all three points at the Amex and stretch their lead at the top of the Premier League to seven points after Manchester City drew with Nottingham Forest at the Etihad.

It was a “tortuous” affair and an exhibition which Hurzeler took great issue with after the game as the Brighton boss hit out at the Gunners’ time-wasting and questioned whether there was any joy to be had from the spectacle after Arne Slot revealed his similar gripes ahead of Liverpool’s tiki-taka defeat to rock-bottom Wolves on Wednesday.

“If I asked everyone in this room did they enjoy this football game, I’m sure maybe one raises his arm because he’s a big Arsenal fan, besides that, no chance,” Hurzeler insisted.

“There was only one team that tried to play football today. I ask one question – do you ever see in a Premier League game the goalkeeper going down three times?

“In the end we have to make the limits or the Premier League has to make the limits. Where will this go in the future? One game we played 60 minutes net time [ball in play], then when you play against Arsenal it’s only 50 minutes, that’s ten minutes difference. This is what the supporters are paying for, you get my point.

“I won’t complain about the referee because it’s really difficult for him, do you want to send off the goalkeeper for two yellow cards for wasting time? This will never happen so what should he do? That’s the thing, that’s why you need rules, limits.

“If they win the Premier League , no one will ask how they won it. In the end, it is about the rules,” he added. “If the referee allows everything, at the moment they are doing their own rules. It is difficult to judge that.”

And Hurzeler then delivered one single line so hoity-toity, so conceited and steeped in narcissism that we almost immediately became staunch supporters of Mikel Arteta’s anti-football.

“I will never be that kind of manager who tries to win in that way.”

F*** it, score all of the goals from set pieces, take three minutes over each goal kick, why even try to score a goal from open play? If this is the sort of reaction we can expect from Hurzeler and other pompous football managers, none of whom can really claim to be playing the beautiful game in this stolid modern word, here’s to Arteta and Arsenal boring their way to the Premier League title.

When asked about Hurzeler’s comments, Arteta replied: “What a surprise.”

Asked if he wanted to elaborate on his response, Arteta added: “No. You just go back to the previous games and you’ll find a lot of comments like this always.

“I love my players. That’s the highlight. I love my players, we love our players and I love the way we compete.”

Asked if he cares what another manager says about him, Arteta replied: “Care? Yeah. Depends… and the comments, and the purpose of that.”

He’s made you look a right mug, Fabian.